#sarah j mass probably did

[angryschnauzer]

👀 i'd like to see the current kindle library of every girl that watched this show in the 90s please

When bae is happy to see you! 🥰

[mariocki]

Return of the Living Dead III (1993)

"What's going on, Curt, tell me what happened?"

"We had an accident."

"What kind of an accident?"

"On the bike."

"What happened?"

"You died."

"I what?"

[ezziefae]

this is probably going to anger a few people. But I get super annoyed when fans get upset or pretend that Cardan's tail or Oak's hooves don’t exist. like dude…you’re reading a book that centered around folk lore. Ogres, pixies, mermaids, silkies. The Fae world is not the human world.

I think it's important to appreciate all aspects of a book's lore, and it's frustrating to see fans getting upset or denying the existence of certain elements. After all, if you're reading a book about fae creatures, you should expect to encounter all kinds of fantastical beings who are different from what we as humans usually see in our world.

Cardan's tail is a defining characteristic of his character, and it is quite significant to the story. So it’s embarrassing when fans ask Holly Black “Why the tail?” “Why the hooves?” “that’s weird” “I hate the tail” or “I’m gonna pretend that Cardan has no tail.” Like...*GASP* the amount of disrespect to Holly and her characters is mind-boggling to me. Please, stop, you’re embarrassing the fanbase. Did you not understand the fact that you picked up a fantasy book centered around the folk?? goblins, mermaids, redcaps, pixies, etc! like what did you expect? shut up and embrace these characters. If it's not to your liking, then read something else. but please stop overlooking aspects of these books just because they don’t fit your agenda. And this is only targeting fans who love the TFOTA series. Like please stop insulting Holly black with these embarrassing questions, go read Sarah J. Mass or Colleen Hoover, or something, please.

if you don’t love Cardan's tail, or Oak's hooves, then you didn’t understand the book. or they just aren’t your taste. There I said it.

You either love ALL of Cardan Greenbriar or you don't. There's no in between.

[seafrost-fangirl]

You know, maybe this is just my opinion, but some of these IC/Rhysand stans REALLY need to evaluate themselves before shitting on my girl Nesta.

Let me explain:

When reading a book, you sort of naturally put yourself in the shoes of the main character. When reading ACOTAR, that’s Feyre for the first three books (sort of 4, but ACOFAS is multi-POV). So the switch to Nesta’s POV can be jarring, especially since we’ve spent the first three books with her on the side, and with Feyre having mixed opionions on her sister, we also do as the audience.

A lot of us, myself included, really relate to Feyre. She’s had to take care of her family, do the emotional labor for friends and family, and had to deal with very real threats from a very young age. I felt seen when reading her books, and I bet a lot of you did too.

When you see someone you looks like you, acts like you, and feels like you get all the attention Feyre gets, all the power, all the riches, all the love? That’s feels great. It feels validating. To see that someone like you is worthy of everything you want? It creates a very tangible connection with the character. She is no longer just Feyre. She’s also Mellisa, and Jody, and Sarah, and Tasha, and Rain, and every other person who’s read the book.

And then we read Silver Flames, and we aren’t with her anymore. We’re with her sister, whom some of us spent the last couple books anywhere from mildly disliking to out-right hating.

Some people just kept on not liking her.

But some of us didn’t.

Some of us saw ourselves in her.

I know I did. I related to Feyre, but it was like Sarah J. Mass read my deepest and innermost thoughts and used them to build Nesta from the ground up.

Now let’s run this scenario back.

People who relate to Nesta don’t get to see those darker parts of them in embraced by the narrative. Nesta doesn’t get power, she loses it. All her wealth and status? Gone. Instead of a manor house filled with love she once again lives in a run-down shack of an apartment, just like she was at the beginning of the story, and she doesn’t even get to keep it. She doesn’t get unconditional love and understanding, and in fact, it seems like some characters are actively trying to NOT understand her.

And for what? Because she doesn’t get along with the members of the IC? Because she’s still processing having her life, everything she wanted, everything she was ripped away? Because she has to deal with unwanted advances from a man she doesn’t like (right after being assaulted by a man she thought loved her)? Because she watched her father die? Because she KILLED a man? Because she doesn’t know how to cope with any of this and it’s only been a year?

Sure, maybe we all can’t relate on a literal level to this, but fiction can be a tool to help us process REAL feelings that have a lateral translation. People who relate to Nesta might not have been thrown in a cauldron, but maybe they’ve experienced a loss of autonomy and had decisions made on their behalf. Most people probably don’t hear their dead father’s neck snapping in the fireplace, but maybe they have PTSD that’s triggered by relatively normal things and have to constantly cope with that while other people look at them with confusion, annoyance, or disgust.

People who relate to Feyre are rewarded by the narrative, people who relate to Nesta are punished by it. People who relate to Feyre know that the IC would like them. People who relate to Nesta know that Rhysand, Mor, Amren, Azriel, and Cassian, the people with whom we’ve spent the last four books, the people who we’ve laughed with and cried with, the people who we just went into battle with… those people? We now know that they’d hate us. Lock us up, force us away from our family, make us relentlessly train for no reason really, and use us and our talents thanklessly no matter how much we do and try.

I’d be fine if it stopped there. I wouldn’t enjoy it, I’d write some fanfic, but I’d been fine.

But that isn’t where it stops is it?

Because people who relate to, or even people who just like Nesta, are being harassed online. I know two separate creators on TikTok who were doxxed because of their opinions on Nesta and how the IC treated her in ACOSF. Expressing even the most mild dislike of this fictional man (Rhysand) got one woman’s address leaked and the other’s place of work. What part of that is okay?

I get some of us related to Feyre. She feels like part of us. Maybe you feel attacked when someone says they like Nesta because Nesta was mean Feyre, so maybe that means they don’t like you, I don’t know. But real human beings don’t deserve to be harassed because of a fictional character’s actions. ESPECIALLY people who didn’t write or create the damn book.

I’m not asking you to like Nesta, because this isn’t really about Nesta is it? It’s about the real people who’re getting hurt because of your words and actions.

Honestly it’s ironic.

You’re throwing vitriol and spewing hatred onto people who did nothing to you, and who don’t deserve it.

Sound like anyone else from ACOTAR One?

[emeraldkarma]

I thought of a counter to the argument "tamlin didn't teach feyre to read but rhys did"

Um yeah because feyre said she didn't want too in the first book before they went under the mountain and then after yeah tamlin didn't ask again but feyre had literally just gotten free after being held captive and tortured! Of course no one was going 'hey you wanna learn how to read now?' Right after that happened and especially after her not being able to read nearly got her and lucien killed.

even later feyre was so fucked up and depressed she couldn't plan her own wedding! She was so tired and exhausted and yes at this point tamlin should have checked in with her should have asked her what she needed him to do but that doesn't mean teaching her to read, that wasn't even on her radar.

I've seen some arguments that's that tamlin didn't teach her because he wanted her to be dependent on him but i don't think that's the case. If tamlin wanted her to be dependent on him he wouldn't have allowed her to be so reliant on ianthe or be so close to lucien or alis, both of which would have taught her if she asked,(lucien especially quickly). If feyre had asked tamlin he probably wouldn't be able to do it himself but he would have found someone to teach her.

He'll I'm not even sure we should count rhysand teaching her to read as totally pure since he wanted her to read the book of breathing before he found out it was written in freaky angel language.

This isn't me saying tamlin is an angel like he has some flaws but he isn't a monster he's just complicated like rhys the issue is that tamlin got complicated after Sarah j mass got tired of writing him.

[darklinaforever]

“Sarah J Mass continues the trend where abusive relationships are portrayed as completely acceptable.”

Um... Feysand is abusive ? Is Elriel abusive ? Nessian is abusive ? Rowaelin is abusive ? Manorian is abusive ? I... WTF ?!

Apparently, from what I know, people are saying that Feysand is abusive starting in book 4, when... no ? Yes, it sucks that Rhysand hid the pregnancy problem from Feyre, but you know what stress can do to an already stressed pregnant woman ? A miscarriage. And clearly, even if Rhysand wasn't perfect on this one, the risk and fear it provoked in him made sense. Making a mistake in a healthy relationship isn't the end of the world, especially with such a complicated situation, essentially dead end. The purpose of this plot specifically being Nesta's rescue for her relationship with Feyre. Maybe SJM didn't handle the scenario very well, but that's okay in itself. Especially since Rhysand planned to talk to Feyre about it at one point or another. He wasn't planning on hiding it from her until the birth or never telling her ! What would have really been toxic is... oh I don't know, absolutely wanting to risk having your son at the risk of Feyre's life and the baby no matter what by hiding it from her ?! (And let me have a doubt, but Rhysand's life was just as threatened as Feyre... If one dies, so does the other. No ?!) Also, it's a fantasy universe... I mean, a mistake in a couple of two immortal Fae essentially caused by the fear of the death of your partner and your baby... Uh, I think we can forgive, right ? This is nothing compared to the whole relationship Feyre had with Tamlin !

I've literally seen people say that if Feyre had died at the end of the book, it would have confirmed that Rhysand was toxic / abusif, but in what way ? I remind you that Feyre knew about it at that time and that no matter if she would have known from the start, there was no solution for Feyre's case ! It was literally a no-win situation ! Rhysand would have been abusive of what ? For getting her pregnant ? Knowing that Feyre wanted this baby and was the one who decided to have one ? Also, these people were even talking about the fact that Rhysand would probably have blamed himself for Feyre's death but believed that he had done the moral and right thing... Like WTF ? Did these people even forget that Rhysand would have died with Feyre if she was fucking dead ?! They don't even make the effort to pretend they know what they're talking about ! Seriously, the reasoning of the antis is slammed to the ground.

Rhysand essentially wanted to avoid any risk of unnecessary stress to Feyre (because once again it's fucking dangerous) in the sense that he hoped to find a solution to save her before telling her about the problem. And then, even if he didn't tell her right away after understanding that no, there was no solution, I would like to see you there telling the love of your life that she is inevitably going to die during delivery with the baby, when she was so happy and impatient to have this child and start this new chapter of your life together ?!

Oh, and apparently the protective shield was toxic... You know, that same shield, brought in with the new threat emanating from the mortal queens, Beron's schemes and fucking Koshei... (Knowing that Rhys literally said in book 2 that he would be terrified to see his soulmate pregnant while they were surrounded by enemies, and the idea of ​​what he would be capable of doing if Feyre was expecting a child and that she was threatened or harmed. Well I don't even see how this shield thing would shock the reader or be out of character for Rhysand...) This same protective shield that Feyre accepted despite gently making fun of it with Cassian, and that Rhysand then lowered so that she could be in contact with their family members whenever they wanted and / or whenever the moment presented itself once they were able to fully master it. So basically she could still touch her family / people she wanted... (Especially since Feyre may have a shield on her, but she is not kept locked up. She is free to go out and do what she wants. At one point, Feyre even says that she should accompany Nesta, Casian and Azriel into danger, after Rhysand says the same thing, then Rhysand corrects it by saying that they should accompany them both. Not that she shouldn't go. He's not fucking controlling her !) The real toxicity would have been keeping the shield on under all circumstances despite the conversation Feyre and Cassian had about it the first time he was addressed.

[aevallare]

interview with the vampire author!

i was tagged by @pursuitseternal! thank you!!! <3

When did you start writing?

i don't remember a time that i wasn't. i used to carry around a little pink notebook that i was absolutely precious about. i didn't go anywhere without it.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

i don't write much mystery; i love it, but i just don't think i'm clever enough haha.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

someone who hates my pussy once compared me to sarah j maas lmao

i'd love to be compared to barbara kingsolver - she's probably my all-time favorite author. others whose style i chase after while constantly falling flat on my face include gabriel garcía márquez, ursula k. leguin and. well. neil gaiman. but. yeah.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

it is my desk! and it is boring! i have a few knick knacks and trinkets around, but it's also my gaming space. i have a drinky drink. i have a nail file. i have a tube of concealer in case i forgot about a zoom meeting lmao.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

my toxic trait is that trying to muster up a muse is the devil talking. if you want to write and the inspiration isn't there, it's about discipline.

that's not to say i never get inspired. music gets me going in a way that's tough to duplicate. other than that, it's really effective to go back and read what i've already written.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

the transformative (positive and negative) power of love. anger as a coping mechanism. the non-linear nature of healing.

none of these surprise me lmao.

What is your reason for writing?

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

i love them all.

i've had several that are really touching but i can't really think of a common thread that draws them all together.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

i want people to think that i work hard and that i really, really, really love to create.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

i think nobody slips into a character's skin like i do.

How do you feel about your own writing?

i think it's good.

i think it's got a long way to go.

i think it's always there for me even when nothing else is.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

i don't write for the masses and i don't write if i think there's no story worth telling, but i do sometimes think "oh. i have a friend who would love this." and then an idea i was lukewarm on can suddenly become very interesting.

sorry this took so long!!! i have no idea who all has been tagged. sorry! @again-please @dwarfsized @deltatime @ghouliar0berts @cosmolis @amoremagnificentbastard @molgars

[thxtmarvelchick]

✨BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS ORGANIZED BY GENRE (and tropes listed)✨

i will do the cut thing because this is going to be long…

THIS WILL BE CONTINUOUSLY ADDED ONTO AS I READ MORE BOOKS THAT FIND THEMSELVES IN MY FAVOURITES

Fantasy/Sci-fi (because I feel like they go hand in hand)

•A Court Of Thorns And Roses (the entire series) by Sarah J Mass

I can genuinely say that this series had such a massive impact on my life and it will always be in my top recs. The writing is SO beautiful and the world- building is IMPECCABLE you can vividly picture everything and it just completely transports you to this magical world.

Tropes: fae (ik this isn’t a trope i just had to say it), a little enemies to lovers, a little friends to lovers, royalty, FATED MATES (my personal favourite), forced proximity, they dream of each other, she owes him a debt, slow burn, found family

spice is included✨ and honestly pretty fricking spicy (spiciest on this list probably)

•Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

Another book that like altered my brain chemistry because it was so good. The main character has a chronic illness (that is the same chronic illness the author has). It’s such a comfort book to me and i really wish i could read it for the first time again because there’s twists and the ending had me SHELLSHOCKED and i do not get shocked easily because most of the time i can tell it’s coming but i genuinely had NO IDEA that is how good Rebecca Yarros’ writing is.

Tropes: enemies to lovers (but they’re attracted to each other from the very start), kind of forbidden love (parents were enemies), they’re bonded to each other so kind of fated mates?, THEY’RE AT A COLLEGE TO BECOME DRAGON RIDERS THAT’S LITERALLY SO COOL, oh did i mention DRAGONS THAT TALK AND ARE SASSY LITTLE SHITS, also kind of found family bc the MC’s is dysfunctional as hell

also spice is included✨ i’d rate it maybe a 3/5?, it’s not SUPER detailed and there’s not a lot but there’s one scene where my jaw was dropped the entire time

•One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston

This is a comfort read FOR SURE. I felt so seen because the MC is just like me (socially awkward, book lover, nerd) and she has a huge crush on this other girl ( YES IT’S LGBTQ!!) who is totally like 70s rockstar vibes (she’s literally so cool i cannot). It’s a book that’ll have you squealing and kicking your feet. Oh did i mention the love interest is ACTUALLY a 70s pink chick who’s accidentally time travelled forward after an accident she had on the subway?

tropes: this is pure fluff guys like seriously you can’t not love it, kind of coming of age (she’s 23 and finding her confidence and place in the world) , the love interest doesn’t remember how she got there (so amnesia), found family (just now noticing a theme with all my recs so far..)

there’s spice mentioned but not actual spicy scenes!

Romance

•Bridgerton series

This series is a staple however due to you not having to read all the books/ the books in order there are a few that i don’t think i’ll reread (i haven’t even read Francesca’s yet) like for instance i didn’t like Benedict’s book because of the Cinderella retelling aspect and I ended up dnfing

BUT the rest are REALLY good, my favourites being Colin/Penelope’s (Romancing Mister Bridgerton) and Hyacinth’s (It’s In His Kiss)

Tropes: (just doing the main one for each book)

Book #1 (Daphne)- fake relationship

Book #2 (Anthony)- enemies to lovers

Book #3 (Benedict)- fairytale retelling (cinderella), she was a lady’s maid for one of his sisters (i think… it’s been awhile)

Book #4 (Colin/Penelope)- friends to lovers, she’s a socially awkward wallflower and i relate immensely (there’s twists and overall is just a beautiful love story)

Book #5 (Eloise)- they’re pen pals and she runs away to his home (he has children that are an absolute MENACE to her it’s hilarious)

Book #6 (Francesca)- haven’t read yet but i know that the main premise is her late husband (who died not long after she married him) ‘s cousin has always loved her since he met her

Book #7 (Hyacinth)- mystery, they’re trying to find his family’s hidden jewels (their dynamic is amazing and hyacinth is my favourite bridgerton she’s so funny to me)

Book #8 (Gregory)- they’re friends and they realize they’re in love with each other as they’re about to marry other people (he crashes her wedding it’s fantastic)

[prongsfoot1028]

Escape from harsh reality

Good books for me are an escape from reality and into other ppl’s( who r now my ppl) drama. I laugh with them I cry with them even though sometimes they leave me staring at the wall because of some random plot twist I did not see coming. As far book recs go, many are often unappreciated heavily. You may or may not have heard these before but I personally will never stop recommending these istg.

•Harry Potter- JK Rowling- These books were my childhood

Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarrows- absolutely slow burn 🔥 just read for 13+ * has smut scenes *

Percy Jackson- Pure childhood stuff bro absolute best friends to lovers anyone who hasn’t read this I will shove Medusa’s face into ur face (maybe via mail…)

Throne of Glass - Sarah J Mass-I’ve heard it’s amazing I haven’t actually read it completely yet

Legendborn- Tracy Denonn - Great book! Harry Potter fans will love it many references to other books best friends to lovers troupe

Shatter me- Tahreh Mari- these were recommended to me by a friend and I absolutely fell in love #Aaronforlove #kenjiisallweneed

Powerless-Lauren Roberts- amazing book overall must read if u want good ‘hunter’ ‘hunted’ type enemies to lovers

The Cruel Prince- Holly Black- first enemies to lovers I’ve ever read and it got me addicted to it ever since. 9+ good book

Twilight - Stephanie Meyer- honestly was so surprised when my parents bought this books for me but it’s true love that makes you yearn for your own Edward

A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder-Holly Jackson- a beautiful murder mystery. Mature 11 year olds can handle it. My first mystery series( that was not not Enid ablution) book that I ever read and I fell in love with Ravi

Divergent-Veronica Roth- The first 2 books of the three were pretty decent but then I hated the ending of the third book which kinda ruined the series for me but still a great book

Twin Crowns- Katherine Weber and Catherine Doyle- amazing book it’s about witchcraft probably mature 11 year old + few hot scenes but none too spicy

Heroes Of Olympus- I mean it’s a pretty decent continuation of pjo I personally found the first book boring ,cuz guess why -no Percy .( Spoiler alert ahead)( like if u agree )I bond with everyone who cried when Percabeth fell into Tartarus and sorta boycotted the series for 2 years weeks in their memory cuz poor 12 year old me thought they died. Spoiler alert they didn’t. ( end of spoiler alerts)So YAY. If y’all have any recommendations for me too read pls lemme know in the comment

hope at least 1 in 3 Ppl found this useful

[aeonknight]

I find YA novel title trends really interesting. It used to be very common to see books called "The [Word with obscure meaning or one that doesn't necessarily work as a noun being used as one]" which was popularized by "The Giver," which caught readers eyes with a strange word that they want to think about or read the book to unravel, but that naturally evolved into "The [Noun] of [Main character name]" or sometimes "The [Noun] of [Dead character name]," for which I blame Twin Peaks somehow, but it more generally marked a trend in YA books moving towards mystery and intrigue. On the other hand, more adventurous stories tended to stick with "The [Noun]," with said noun generally being an important plot or lore item or event. This doesn't have one originating factor, it's just that it's a very basic way to name novels, but it does give readers a good idea of what they're getting into, plot wise. And when I say [Noun] here, it can be something complex, including descriptors or things. Examples of this are The Lightning Thief or The Hunger Games. This title trend split into two and then three as authors needed more complex titling. First off was "The [Adjective] [Noun]," which was simply a way to create more complex titles, but then... a new challenger arose. In my opinion inspired probably by George RR Martin's series being called "A Song of Ice and Fire," and to a lesser extent the series titles all being "A [Noun] of/for/with [Nouns]," the title trend emerged of naming things accordingly, especially in fantasy. To be clear, A Song of Ice and Fire is NOT YA, but it is what inspired the change in general, which was then popularized amoung YA by a certain Sarah J Mass and her series "A Court of Thorns and Roses." This isn't bad titling, necessarily, but every series being "A [Noun] of [Nouns] and [Nouns]" does make it a lot harder to differentiate them. "A Court of Thorns and Roses" also has a smaller trend of many books including the word "thorn/thorns" in their titles, which is often a way to show that the MC is different or special or dark (like a thorn on a beautiful rose, often ignored but dangerous and often rebellious), which is especially true in regency inspired fantasy stories about poor girls rising up to get involved with and dismantle fancy governments. Also, this is emblematic of a trend in YA books going from being very male oriented or at least gender neutral in target audience (The Giver and Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings have male protagonists, as did most of the many fantasy adventure stories for the time), though with a lot of books about girls becoming women and moving into adulthood, to modern YA having a much more heavy lean on romance novels written for girls (and occasionally about queer boys but even then those are often debatably written for girls). I consider this a marked change because even though there were always YA books written for a female audience, they've definitely moved more towards romance and wish fulfillment over coming of age stories. Another thing that's interesting, the genre name has become YA even though the target audience is clearly people in the 13-16 age demographic, which is NOT young adults, whereas the older books (from the 90s especially) were instead called teen books, which makes a lot more sense.

[ireadthatkindofbook]

Fantasy Spicy Book!

This series has been a long time coming. I loved this! I loved the backstory I loved the world building and I know I don't know everything there is to know yet because there are still a whole lot more books but the history was really rich and it is exactly what I needed after finishing Harry Potter. I freaking love Rhysand's personality and I'm excited to see where that goes. I really like the world that has been created! I'm not going to provide any spoilers on this post so all I can say is I definitely recommend it so far! It's a 9.5/10 for me and I'm onto the next book. I am co-reading with the Paperback and the audiobook on hoopla.

Mind blown. Going into this I did not expect the story to play out like it has and I am just in awe of the way that Sarah J Mass has written the storyline. I am so excited to continue on with the next book and thrilled to be so engaged in another fantasy book like this. So many emotions from the storyline and the characters and the bonds between the characters which I don't want to spoil anything but dear Lord is this story Beyond good. I'm not crying you're crying. I'll give this book a 9.9/10.

This book was a cluster fuck of emotion. I loved it and hated it and cried and was so happy. I love this world and love the intricacies of the characters and the storyline and how everything is just brought together so well and so emotionally. I feel like I'm living in the story when I read it and I don't think you can ask for much more than that. This one is rated 9.8/10.

I'm fuckin tired of crying over these books but man they just hit me in the feels. This was a great bridge between stories and a nice inside look into other characters minds. Now excuse me while I start the next and hopefully learn how to control my emotions😂😅 9.5/10.

I am not one for side character stories. Usually I will have to leave a series and come back when it calls to me, but the way Sarah writes all of these characters is insanely wonderful and I cannot wait for the next one! (hopefully Azriel!!!) I loved this series and am so happy I read it. This book is a looooong book and it takes a while for things to progress. I am glad I was advised this when staring it or I would have expected different and probably not have enjoyed it as much. It is worth every chapter and it was sooooooo good!! It's made me question which bat boy is my fav and honestly I cannot choose lol. There was laughter, heartbreak, tears, anger, all of the emotions, and all felt so deeply and real! Overall the entire series gets a 9.7/10.

Ps. Rhys was hard to pinpoint but I did end up going with Ian Somerhalder as Damon because the personalities just fit SO WELL. Feyre I have a picture in my mind that I'll have to find to show who she is. I pictured Sydney sweeney as Mor.

I'll keep going as I remember but it's 6:44 am currently lol

[morganofthewildfire]

Two Flickering Souls

A little au brought about my random thought of what would’ve happened if this scene had taken a different turn... obviously it wouldn’t and couldn’t for very good reasons, but what if?

I mean, we all love some good hate sex right? 😂

CW: NSFW, not suitable for readers under eighteen

Some dialogue and situations credited to Sarah J Mass’ Heir of Fire

- 4K words

———————————————————————

Celaena wasn’t sure what the fuck she was still doing here. Day after day of endlessly sitting around, trying endlessly to shift, while the bastard across from her endlessly stared at her with seemingly endless frowns and insults. Not that she cared, she sent twice as many insults back, her barbed words as vicious as she could make them.

But the damp and the chill from sitting up on the mountain made it better to go back into the kitchen, to the almost blazing heat of the furnace and the suffocating weight of everyone else’s words. Everyone else’s pity.

Celaena preferred it when Luca just babbled the whole meal away, when Emrys turned his knowing smiles on him instead of her. She preferred being left in silence, to fall into that deep dark hole inside of her and wonder how she ended up in the same place as these people when she deserved much much less. She deserved nothing. Not when she could see their souls while sitting in the kitchen now: theirs bright, clear flames, while hers was rotting black embers, too worthless to be anything but empty.

It just made it worse at dinner time, when everyone in the fortress gathered around to hear Emrys’ stories. The fellowship of everyone there just made her isolation worse, that loneliness and pain creeping back in. And yet she still kept going. And so did Rowan, for reasons she’d yet to uncover. Not that she really cared.

“Elentiya!” Luca hissed, gesturing to the door with wide eyes, and she glanced up from the dishes she was methodically cleaning, her main job once breakfast was finished. Her expression was flat, any motivation from when she’d sailed across the vast sea to Wendlyn gone under the weight of all the deaths on her conscience. But when she laid eyes on Rowan, standing in the doorway with an impressively icy frown on his face, she felt a little spark of anger. Scratch that, of hatred.

Gods, he was such a waste of her time and effort, this was a waste of time and effort. She should just leave now, find a way to kill the king that didn’t require training with this bastard. Especially after discovering what he considered “training”.

Celaena didn’t think that the hell she’d gone through and seen in that barrow wight field should count as proper magic training. Or any sort of lessons at all. Arobynn certainly wouldn’t have done something like that.

No. He probably would have, but she wouldn’t think about that right now. She’d focus on the semblance of anger she was feeling, narrow in on that one emotion to keep from falling all the way into that pit of nothingness.

So she rolled her eyes at the silver haired fae as she threw down her towel, heading toward the exit. She didn’t bother saying bye to the males she was leaving in the kitchen, just as she didn’t bother saying anything to Rowan as she made to push past him, planning on getting ahead of him in the hallway.

Shifting was still proving to be out of her reach, no matter how much she did try, unbeknownst to the male who seemed determined to think of her as a lazy brat, but she was channeling that frustration into indignancy, usually directed at that same male. She wasn’t helping her situation with him, but she again, didn’t really care.

As she reached the door he was standing in, Celaena couldn’t help but try to shove him a little bit, claiming it as an accident when both parties knew it was anything but. Even if he didn’t move an inch, the strength corded through his arms and chest making him like an unmovable mountain. The same mountain she’d pressed against while trying to stay away from her wretched “aunt”, the one forcing her to do all of this for the answers she desperately needed.

He muttered something under his breath as he slotted into place behind her, and she purposefully swayed her hips just a bit to piss him off, showing him that attitude he liked to insult her about. If only he knew what she’d actually been through…

But no. She wouldn’t trust him with that when he would just throw it back in her face. Saying it was what she deserved. She did deserve it, but she didn’t need to hear that from him.

But occasionally she wondered how much of her facade he could see behind, how much of her bleeding broken self he could sense. So far, it seemed like none of it. Celaena didn’t know whether that made her happy or not. She didn’t know if she remembered what happiness felt like enough to tell.

Back in Rifthold, everything had been so much simpler. Back when all she was doing was winning the tournament, or figuring out how to avoid killing for the king, or even just learning wyrdmarks with Nehemia… Nehemia. Despite the nothingness in her heart, she couldn’t forget that fresh death, that fresh grave, and the fresh heartbreak that had pushed her to the brink and then over the edge.

She’d tried to avoid thinking about Chaol, about the love she’d found and then lost, and how much she wished things were different. But he’d betrayed her, he’d chosen the king. Yet, she still longed for his touch.

Maybe she should just find someone else to erase that touch, or at the very least, cover it up for a little while. Maybe moving on in the physical sense would help the ache in her heart, the numb ache in her soul.

The thick, damp air struck her face as she made her way outside of the fortress, causing her lingering black eye to tingle, the last dredges of it still on her skin from where she’d refused to use the salve. But she ignored it as she trudged along, letting Rowan get ahead of her so she could follow him mindlessly, cursing at him from behind his back the more and more they climbed.

He was sadistic, cruel, a bully that never made it past the emotional maturity of a child. Even if he didn’t even show any emotion at all, apart from raging at her.

And, not wanting to put up with another whole day of failing to shift, and wanting to see just how much she could push him, Celaena spoke.

“I have a request,” she said, waiting for him to turn his dull eyes to hers. “I want to see you shift.” Rowan narrowed those same eyes, looking inclined to spit at her.

“You don’t have the privilege of giving orders.” His words were flat, his tone final. But she pressed more, slowing their pace down to nothing.

“Show me how you do it.” Maybe, just maybe, it would help. Ever since that evening in the kitchen, she’d known his animal form, the same damned bird that had watched her for days on that damned rooftop, but maybe seeing the process would help her harness that same power inside of herself.

It still made her wary to access that side of herself, flashes of Chaol’s disgusted face when she shifted, of uncontrollable fire springing from her fingers into the delicate pages of books, echoes of her own voice murmuring monster, worthless, better off dead, in her head. But she needed to get past that. She needed a distraction.

Which is why she hyper focused on Rowan as he shifted, a soft flash of light and a ripple of color filling the air before a white tailed hawk appeared, swooping for the nearest tree branch and clicking his beak.

Celaena glanced around, not seeing his clothes, his weapons, or any disruption at all. If she hadn’t seen it, she wouldn’t have even known he’d shifted. How?

Rowan let out a battle cry, swooping off the tree and aiming his talons for her eyes. She darted behind a tree, glaring at him as he shifted back, closer than before, that same flash of light overtaking her vision.

“Your turn,” he growled sternly, and she couldn’t help the tremble that shook her. It was incredible seeing the shift, but she wouldn’t let him now she thought that.

“Where do your clothes go?” She asked instead, moving slowly from behind the bark. Rowan clenched his fists.

“Between, somewhere. I don’t particularly care.” He bared his teeth after he answered, but she didn’t give in, didn’t stop and attempt to shift like he wanted her to. Although she supposed he didn’t want her to attempt. He wanted her to succeed. After a moment though, of holding Rowan’s gaze, she took a deep breath, calming her body. Celaena imagined phantom fingers reaching down, pulling her Fae form out, imagining that same flash of color and light, pushing, pushing… but no luck.

“Sometimes I wonder whether this is a punishment for you,” she said through her teeth, refusing to show her struggle. “But what could you have done to piss off her Immortal Majesty?” He growled again.

“Don’t use that tone when you talk about her.” Her brows shot up in a taunt.

“Oh, I can use whatever tone I want. And you can taunt and snarl at me and make me chop wood all day, but short of ripping out my tongue, you can’t-”

Faster than she thought possible, his hand shot out and he grabbed her tongue between his fingers. Celaena bit down on that hand, as hard as she could, but he didn’t let go, instead purring “Say that again”. She gagged, choking a bit as he kept pressing down. She tried to slam her knee up between his legs, going for his daggers, but then he slammed his body against hers, pushing her against the tree.

He was a wall of hard muscles, centuries of lethal training, and she could do nothing to free herself, nothing to escape him. Rowan finally let go of her tongue and she breathed deeply, coughing as she cursed at him foully, spitting at him.

And that’s when he bit her. His canines pierced the spot between her neck and shoulder, and she cried out, the bite so strong and claiming she was too stunned to move. He pressed her further against the tree, and despite herself… it felt good.

Her first instinct was anger, ready to push him away and snarl at him, but that other nagging thing inside her told her that this could be her distraction, could be her momentary break from everything weighing on her soul. He was unfortunately attractive, and if anything, this could be used to throw him off his feet, to prove that she stood a chance against him in some regard. It brought her a bit of satisfaction, thinking of getting a leg up on him, even if it was through unconventional means.

But before she could do anything, he pulled back, ripping through her skin slightly, and without even realizing it, that action pulled her fae form out with a searing flash of light.

Celaena panted, even though her lungs were telling her she didn’t need as much air, she wasn’t winded. She could feel her skin stitching itself together over the wound on her neck. She felt stronger, freer, amazing. But then… there it was, the crackle of wildfire rising up inside of her, in her veins, her fingertips, threatening to spill out of her and burn and burn and burn. But Celaena stumbled back, closing her eyes and using all her energy to shove that fire back inside, burying it as much as she could.

“Let it out,” Rowan insisted, “don’t bury it.” He spat her blood out onto the ground, a light in his eyes that contrasted the harsh action. But Celaena just kept focusing, digging a hole deep inside her to shove that fire down. She didn’t need it right now. She didn’t need it ever. “What are you doing?” He hissed, yanking on her arm. “You worthless -”

Without thinking, she kissed him.

His mouth was warm and soft against hers, surprising her, and she closed her eyes, leaning into it a second before she was being pushed away, back into the tree behind her.

“You brat,” he hissed again, “What are you trying to do?” Celaena just panted, not responding and just staring into those narrowed green eyes.

“What do you think I’m doing, you bastard?” She spit the words back, dropping her head back against the rough bark of the tree. A rush went through her as he prowled closer, bracing a hand against the tree next to her head. With her new fae senses, everything was sharper, and his pine and snow scent washed over her, angering her and enthralling her all at once. Out of her control, she felt herself shift back into her human form, if only to keep from being overwhelmed.

“Stop trying to distract me,” he murmured, and she smirked.

“But I do it so well,” she replied, practically purring the words like he did earlier.

“What makes you think I would ever want to kiss you?” He tilted his head. “You’re a spineless, worthless -”

“Yeah, yeah I get it,” she interrupted, her heart racing. “I’ve heard it all before. And I’d rather hear other things from your mouth right now.” She let her eyes flutter half closed. She knew she didn’t look her best right now, her hair ratty, her body malnourished from the lack of food and the drinking, but her base characteristics were still there. She could use it to her advantage, to try and forget who else’s body had been on hers.

“Oh really?” He leaned in closer, glaring at her. But Celaena could still see the spark of heat in that gaze, the frustration turning to something a little different. “Don’t you despise me?” The words were a taunt. “You’ve called me plenty of names too.”

“I can despise you and still want to fuck you,” she tilted her head, “it’s not mutually exclusive.” She lifted her leg, tucking it behind his knee to pull him closer.

“I’d really rather you just listen to what I tell you and stop complaining about it,” he said darkly, “we’re both stuck here until you learn some discipline and control that damn magic of yours.”

“Well,” she smiled drily, “like you said, we’re stuck here. Might as well do something because I am not shifting again.” He huffed, leaning in even closer, his breath ghosting over the same place he’d bitten just moments ago.

“Gods, you’re so useless,” he purred over the skin, and she closed her eyes, breaths turning short.

“Just fuck me already,” she said, slightly breathlessly, and Rowan growled, sliding his canines gently but intently over the delicate skin of her neck.

“I shouldn’t do this,” he murmured, “I shouldn’t want to do this.”

“Just shut up,” she huffed, reaching with her hands to pull his face back to hers, devouring him in another kiss. He crowded her against the tree, pressing her body into his, slanting his head and taking the control from her. Celaena didn’t let him, tugging on his silvery hair, shoving her tongue in his mouth and battling for dominance. She was determined to make him beg for more, to make him lose that insufferable superiority of his.

It was just like their fistfights, except this time, she wouldn’t lose.

Rowan just nipped at her bottom lip, tugging it with his teeth, the sharpness of his canines providing a delicious edge against the soft skin. She sighed into him, tugging at his hair again, and he grasped the thigh of the leg wrapped around him, lifting it up to his hip and pushing in closer, making her eyes roll back into her head as she could feel the hard line of him against her. Despite his reservations, it was clear he was into this as much as she.

“I still hate you, by the way,” he groaned into her, and she chuckled darkly, pulling back.

“And I hate you.” She gave him one second before leaning in to press hot kisses to his jawline, sucking at it just enough to leave a mark in the morning. There. Let everyone else in the fortress wonder about that. Although she supposed they wouldn’t, it would be clear after this to everyone what had happened.

Oh well.

She licked a stripe up his jaw, but before she could do anything else, Rowan was ripping her hands out of his hair and pressing them up against the tree, holding them with one hand above her head as the other returned to her leg. His head dipped back to her neck as he left marks of his own, licking and sucking and nibbling, but never biting all the way like she wanted him to. Like he had already.

She was self aware enough to know she craved that feeling again.

But the lack of control soon annoyed her, and she fought to break her arms away, pulling at the hem of his tunic as soon as he let her go. Rowan used his now free hand to drag through her loose braid, gripping her hair at the base of her head and pulling it back, so she was looking straight up at his face as he dove back into a furious kiss, tongue pushing in immediately and sweeping through her mouth.

Celaena was lost in the sensation, her hands ghosting over the defined muscles of his stomach, but then… an icy breeze she knew came from him escaped up under her own tunic and undershirt, brushing over stomach, and making her shiver from the cold and from lust before ghosting across the band she wore around her breasts, grazing her peaks and dragging out her first moan.

She would’ve been embarrassed by the sound if not for the groan Rowan let out right after, spurred on by her own sigh. Soon, that breeze dipped down to mess with the sensitive skin under her navel, and she panted, especially as he quickly filled the loss under her shirt with his hand, diving up and grabbing her breast roughly, massaging it and rubbing over her peak with his thumb, the feeling heady through the thin white material.

Celaena struggled to function, but she managed to start lifting his shirt, pulling the tunic over his head with his assistance. She dug her hands into his shoulders as he tugged on her bottom lip. But when he started pulling her own tunic off, and she felt the rough bark of the tree on her scarred back, she panicked slightly, freezing.

“The shirt stays on,” she managed to mutter, taking her hands off his body and quickly tugging her tunic off herself, but leaving the thin undershirt on to cover her whole back. He didn’t need to see that. Rowan looked ready to argue, that infuriating arrogance ready to make an appearance, but she didn’t give him time to comment before she dropped her leg down and used her body weight and the element of surprise to push him onto the grass, following quickly to straddle him and gain the upper hand just like she wanted.

She braced her hands against his broad, tan chest, feeling the hard muscle as she began rocking against him, his hard length grinding against where she needed it the most. Her eyes fluttered shut, and heat spiked her core as his hands gripped her hips quickly, guiding her movements until she was going faster and faster, making groans and sighs escape them both.

Gods, she hated him, but gods she’d never felt like this. It had never been like this with Chaol, but she pushed the thought of him away, which wasn’t hard to do, especially when Rowan shifted enough to manage to flip them. She dropped a hand down and deftly slid it into his pants, gripping his hard length and pumping it once, making him curse and thrust into her hand. She tried hard to avoid moaning at how much she felt.

She needed him inside her, now.

But he had other plans. Bracing one arm next to her head, he used the other to quickly unbutton her own pants, pulling them down and off her legs before sliding beneath her underwear, pulling those off too. Celaena clenched her eyes shut, digging her hands into his shoulders as he dragged a finger slowly through her folds.

“Gods you’re so wet,” he murmured against the skin of her neck, that icy wind returning to her breasts and making her whimper. “You say you hate me but look at you.”

“Shut the fuck up,” she managed to say, her voice strained and her breaths short. Rowan just chuckled darkly and slipped a finger into her, drawing out her second moan of the day, the sound turning into a sigh as he crooked it just right, adding another in there to increase the friction. “Rowan,” she breathed, despite herself, and it seemed to spur him on, his fingers increasing their speed as he rubbed his thumb roughly over her sensitive nub.

Giving up on gaining any control, Celaena just clutched at him as her climax crested, spilling her into a sea of pleasure. She moaned and sighed and shuddered as she clenched around him, his fingers still moving as he worked her through it.

“Gods,” she murmured, breathing heavily as she came down. But when she was calm enough, and when he removed his fingers, she took the opportunity to roll them back over, hands immediately reaching for his pants, pulling them off with his undershirts and grabbing his cock. She wrapped her hands around it, squeezing and pumping in just the right way to make him grunt, a groan escaping him as she ran a fingertip lightly over the slit on the head of it.

But her core was already reheating, and she was struck with the need to feel him inside of her, so she straddled him, scooting forward until she was hovering over his length. They both exhaled unsteadily as she slid onto him, a sigh escaping her as she paused, her eyes closed as she adjusted to the stretch.

Gods, gods. She didn’t even have words to describe the feeling. He hit every single sensitive spot inside of her, and she couldn’t stop the sounds escaping her as she began moving, circling her hips and sliding up and down, and neither could Rowan, growls and groans of his own coming from his parted lips as he thrusted up into her, gripping her hips tightly.

She was almost there, almost there… but then he was flipping them again, getting back on top and thrusting roughly into her. He still kept his hands on her hips, tight enough to where she was sure little finger shaped bruises would be there tomorrow, but she didn’t care. She hadn’t cared about bruises in a long time.

Celaena dug her nails into his shoulders and dragged them down his back, sadistically hoping she was leaving some sort of mark in him, just as he was leaving one on her. And Rowan’s teeth once again trailed down her neck, sliding gently along the flesh before traveling up to her ear, nipping at the earlobe before licking up the side and landing at the rounded tip, where he stopped.

“Shift,” he murmured firmly into that same ear, and she tried cursing at him, but her mouth fell open as a particularly hard thrust hit her, and she found herself trying instead of ignoring his command. “Shift,” he repeated, snapping his hips into hers, and she focused deep inside herself, desperately reaching for the same feeling as last time, pushing against the barriers of her human form. He rubbed at her sensitive nub again, and she gasped as that flash of light and color overtook them, signaling her shift.

Her senses sharpened again, and she moaned deeply as every nerve lighted up, the feeling of him inside her intensified and the fire crackling in her veins returned. Rowan returned to licking up the side of her ear, apparently satisfied with the pointed tip now there instead. He swirled around it with his tongue before gently biting it with his teeth, pulling at it slowly and making her heart beat faster, nearing that cliff again.

But it was the true tipping point when he returned to her neck, and she hyper focused on the feeling as he snapped his hips and then bit down, the same feeling from earlier overtaking her.

“Rowan,” she cried out as she climaxed, pleasure racing through her. He thrusted into her a few more times before groaning and spilling inside of her, the sudden warmth stretching out her orgasm that much longer. But overwhelmed as she was, she couldn’t bury the wildfire this time, and it spilled out of her too, rushing across the grass and into the trees, encasing them in the red and gold flames.

It would’ve been beautiful if it didn’t fill her with deep deep dread and fear, and she froze, staring at it wide eyed, desperately trying to reel it back in. Rowan cursed and pulled out of her quickly, looking at it with what looked like slight regret in his eyes, and then the air was gone. She couldn’t breathe. He was suffocating the fire around them but suffocating her too.

She grasped at her throat, clambering for a single breath, before it all rushed back, and she gasped, breathing heavily as she collapsed against the now cool grass, not even caring about her half nakedness. Rowan, on the other hand, was quickly putting his pants back on, sliding his tunic on before picking up and throwing her pants at her.

Message received.

Celaena slowly pulled herself together, fixing her clothing and her hair and standing on her weak and shaky legs, before looking up at him warily, meeting his equally wary gaze from where he now stood perfectly still a few yards away.

It was clear that neither of them knew how to broach what had just happened, what their training had turned into, even if she had provoked it. But she knew one thing.

Despite her intentions, they had just made everything much much worse.

Taglist:

@lexflame @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @camilamartinezdunne @rolltide7 @sleeping-and-books @tottenhamboys20 @firestarsandseneschals @yesdreamblog @jlinez @superspiritfestival @courtofjurdan n @booknerdproblems @1islessthan3books @ireallyshouldsleeprn @imaginedhaven @fangirlprincess09 @lauraisfae @claralady @sassys-world @booksbqueen @aelinashryvergalathynius18 @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx @http-itsrebecca @perseusannabeth @throneofmak @emilyoftheshadows s @poisonous00 @thegoddessofyou @highqueenofelfhame @chieflemming @thesurielships @annejulianneh111 @tomtenadia @aflickeringsoul l @woollycat22 @empire-of-wildfire @jesstargaryenqueen @gracie-rosee @wanderingjpg @cicada-bones @shyvioletcat @thewayshedreamed @rowaelinismyotp @miserablesmusings @grandma-noob-lord d @myworldofbooks @danibutterr @wordsafterhours @vanzetanze @dangerouscherryblossompenguin @sailorsassley @rainbowcheetah512 @live-the-fangirl-life

[violetasteracademic]

This!!! SJM has been spitting facts about Elain's book since early 2018.

What is crazy is that this was released in May of 2018, in place of Kingdom of Ash's original slot. There was a family emergency and she had to swap KoA with ACOFAS. (This makes a lot of sense when you realize that KoA was released in November, a much better time for a holiday special.) All of this is still available info on her Instagram!

That means ACOFAS was likely complete in 2017, and this was probably ready for the printer by the end of 2017 or very early 2018. This also aligns with her mentioning being pregnant in the interview. This is simply not that long after she pitched and contracted the books in 2016, especially in publishing years.

This only speaks to how long SJM has been *actively* working on Elain's book. Since 2017 at least.

Forever sharing this (May 5, 2017) interview:

"I know what the first two [books] are going to be about." Nesta and Elain.

And this:

Eva: "Did you always plan to write a book about Nesta and if so [...] do you have another book planned for the third sister?"

SJM: "Yes to everything. As soon as Nesta and Elain came back onto the page in ACOMAF I knew they would have journeys beyond what the readers were seeing."

It has always been the Archeron sisters, babes.

Elain's book is next. It's been in the works since that drunken lunch in 2016. Oh, to have been a patron in that fancy restaurant while Sarah J. Mass blurted the fate of each Archeron.

the fact that SJM outright said ACOFAS had clues and breadcrumbs for the spin-offs, wrote in multiple romantic moments between azriel and elain, wrote an entire page about how she was researching elain’s book, and on that same page had truth teller wrapped in vines in the margin.. and people still want to tell me elriel isn’t happening? sure, babe. sure.

[isabellabrodar]

Rely on You✖️JJ Maybank✖️

word count: 1573

warnings: mentions of alcohol and drugs, death/loss

JJ Maybank x Reader; JJ Maybank x John B’s sister

Everyone in my family has left me at some point. My mother ditched us for Colorado when my brother and I were only three years old. John B took that pretty, hard but I knew we were better off without her. Caring for her children wasn’t really a strength of hers anyways, so we barely talk about her now.

Then our dad went away to find the lost gold on the Royal Merchant and never came back. This time the loss of a parent broke me. I didn’t dare hope that he was just stranded somewhere, slurping on a coconut and waiting until someone comes to get him and although his body never was found, John B and I silently agreed on moving on. Accepting that your dad died isn’t the easiest thing for two teenagers to do. So I tried to lose myself in school stuff and John B took over our household. I think it was just his way of coping with the situation, but it became annoying pretty quickly. Every time our friends came over, it seemed like he was trying to prove that he was taking care of me.

And then he died. Or at least we all thought he and Sarah did. But turns out they were alive the whole time and now everything can go back to normal. But losing almost everyone that you have learned to rely on hurts you in a way that cannot be undone.

I was gripping the red plastic cup tightly as I tried to make my way through the dancing and drinking crowd. My eyes were moving rapidly over every face nearby, searching for my brother’s hazel eyes and curly brown hair. But I didn’t see him. So I pushed further into the mass of people until I passed a group of Kooks, standing on the edge of the boneyards, seeming to be staring at a girl dancing her heart out only a couple of feet away. I usually would’ve said something to them but I just walked by, my breathing becoming quicker as I whispered John B’s name over and over again.

When I felt a strong hand grab my shoulder, I turned around in a quick motion.

“John B?” I said before I looked into clear blue eyes.

“No, Y/N. He left about five minutes ago with Sarah. They’re fine.” JJ’s voice was calm but his look was drenched with worry and his grip didn’t loosen up as my breathing slowed down a bit.

“Sorry, J. I…I just didn’t know where he was. I was…I am sorry.” I felt a small tear of relief roll down my cheek as the panic started to die down and JJ moved to put a strand of my dark brown hair behind my ear.

“It’s okay. No need to apologize, smarty. We’ll go home yeah? I’ll get Kie and Pope.” I could hear a slight slur in his words, probably coming from more than just a couple of beers. Other than that he sounded tired and I knew that was my fault.

“No, J. I can get home by myself. Let them enjoy themselves, I don’t want to ruin the whole evening.” I put the empty cup on a rock wall next to me and straightened out my white summer dress. JJ looked me up and down once and then shook his head. I knew he wasn’t going to let me walk home alone after that panic attack.

“I’ll tell Pope that we’re going home. Meet you at the truck.” And before I could argue once more, JJ was already on his way over to our friends who were chatting with some other Pogues that I had seen before at school. So I went back into the crowd and saw that one of the Kooks from earlier was now dancing with that one girl and his friends weren’t staring anymore but looking around for something or better someone else to watch. I made my way over to my old truck, dodging several elbows and spilling drinks, while thinking about all the other times the panic had taken a hold of me and JJ had been there to help me.

Our friendship used to be very easy, I would say. We met through John B in third grade and have been inseparable ever since then. With the others we would go surfing almost every day but when it came to talking about serious matters, JJ and I usually kept to ourselves. Occasionally I had noticed the forming bruises on his cheeks or ribs whenever he came back from his house, but he always said it was nothing or an accident and I didn’t pressure him into telling me more, although I made it a point to come with him to his house as often as I could, so his dad wouldn’t get a chance to touch JJ.

And in return JJ didn’t ask about my nightmares that would wake me up every night after we thought John B and Sarah died. He’d move closer to me on the mattresses that we put into the living room for us four to sleep on. Kie and Pope mostly slept at their houses though, which was good, because then I didn’t have to explain myself to even more people. The problem is, that even after my brother and Sarah came back, the nightmares didn’t stop and I started having panic attacks when I felt like I lost them again. Just like at the party. And since JJ was the only person who knew about that, he felt obligated to take care of me.

This is pretty far away from us calling each other smarty and pretty boy, reducing each other to what people mostly noticed about us and never talking about anything besides parties, surfing and how many grams of weed we would need to get for the next tour on the HMS Pogue.

I grabbed a hoodie from the passenger seat of my truck and closed the door again when I heard footsteps approaching.

“You know I am fine. No need to deprive all these pretty girls from their favorite pretty boy.” I said in a mocking but tired tone whilst nodding my head towards the dancing crowd. JJ was now standing next to me, smiling.

“They can wait ‘till the next party. Let’s go home.” He held out his arm for me to loop mine around and then we started walking through the Cut. This kind of intimacy between us had become normal, but it never seemed to be anything besides friendship and we were both grateful for that. The summer air was cold on my legs and small goosebumps started to form on my skin.

“You really need to wear more… I don’t know, fabric I guess.”

“You sound like my dad. Or worse, like John B.” A small laugh escaped his lips as we made our way further along the street, arms still intertwined.

“I think you should talk to him about your nightmares.”

“And I think you should tell your dad he can rot in hell.” He let go of me and put a little distance between us.

“Damn, Y/N, I get it. Don’t talk to John B then.” It always came to this. Both of us telling the other what to do and to confront their problems, but we couldn’t do it and then we would get pissed off at each other, but that’s just the way our friendship worked.

We got to John B and I’s house a couple minutes later, which we had spent in silence. I opened the door and went straight towards John B’s room. The light was turned off already and I saw him and Sarah sleep peacefully. That’s when my heart beat finally went completely back to normal. When I stepped into the living room I saw JJ sprawled across one of the big mattresses. He was still wearing his clothes but that didn’t seem to matter to him.

“I’m going to sleep in my room today, J.”

He mumbled a quiet “ok” and turned his back towards me as I stepped past him.

I was standing on the beach and watched John B and my dad go into the waves on a small boat. Then thunder started and the heavy rain made it hard to see anything out on the ocean. There was lightning and then suddenly the sound of the thunderstorm stopped as I saw the lightning hit the boat that my family was on. Then they were just gone.

I woke up, breathing heavily with sweat on my forehead. My room was dark but I could hear quiet steps coming towards my bed. I scooted over to the side and started to relax as JJ planted himself next to me, still fully clothed. I laid back down and closed my eyes as the boy next to me but his arm over my side and started to calmly breathe onto my neck. This is something that has happened a lot the past two months. Always the same dream, the same horror in which I woke up and then JJ being there and helping me back to sleep just by getting closer. But this scared me. How can I let myself rely on him when everything that causes me pain comes from the people that I am closest to disappearing, getting hurt or leaving?

✖️Soo, I usually don’t write but I just wanted to try it. I know this is not a complete story or whatever and it’s kind of all over the place, but if you guys like it, then I might rewrite it or add more:)

[darklinaforever]

Okay... I've literally seen anti Elriel people say that they couldn't end up together because they barely share moments in the books, like Vassa & Lucien, so believing that they would end up together is stupid.

Uh... what ? Sorry, but what book did you read exactly ?!

Elriel literally spends loads of time together in the books. It's literally stated every time, it's just from Feyre and Nesta's point of view, not yet that of the main people involved. Elriel spent as much time on the page as Nessian did before they had their own book. Seriously wtf ?!

Also, let's address the Lucien and Vassa case. Lucien is currently a secondary character who we don't see much, but who we know will be important later in view of Helion's son and this whole story with the court of autumn. Just like Vassa with this Koschei story. Also, a little tiny detail that people would forget... Lucien lives with Vassa (and Jurian). He literally spends almost all his time with her outside of the times we see him. So, yes, Lucien spent a lot of time with Vassa.

Just the Elriel relationships, and Lucien & Vassa haven't gotten their own books yet for fuck's sake ! (For Lucien & Vassa I think it will probably happen in the very last book of the saga which will probably be a multiple point of view)

Also, they talk about the fact that the Elriel stans would not like Ruhnlidia while... well I haven't come across one yet ? I tended to come across people in the Elriel tag who ship Ruhnlidia. (I ship both myself ! Ruhnlidia are incredible) On the other hand, ironically every time I go to the Ruhnlidia tag I see anti Elriel and pro Gwynriel...

Oh and I saw an anti Elriel claiming that Gwynriel was obvious because Azriel is a shadow singer and Gwyn who would be (perhaps according to the plausible theory in my opinion) a light singer. So light and darkness necessarily go together and...

There are some who seem to have forgotten that the light / dark coding has already been offered to Elriel in previous books, but nice try.

The fact is that it sucks. Because I don't hate Lucien and Gwyn.

I have loved Lucien since volume 1 and I wish him to be happy one day and I am convinced that he will be happy in the future with Vassa, but certainly not Elain. She doesn't want him and he doesn't want her.

Gwyn is a great supporting female character, but she is not Azriel's future mate / wife.

We can love Gwynriel and Elucien ! There’s some great content about them ! There are magnificent fanarts of both ships that I always like, and some very good Gwynriel fanfictions that I myself consumed briefly in the past.

But you have to accept when a ship isn't canon or isn't intended to be after a while because with all the stuff I see happening, this whole debate about who Elain and Azriel will end up with is becoming ridiculous.

Because there is no debate about it. Elriel is endgame, period. Sarah J Mass has already said several times that this is obvious. You have to be willfully blind not to understand.

[roguelov]

Whats on your tbr list? 👀 now this is getting interesting 😌 any book highlights you're looking forward to read?

Alrighty buckle up! For starters my sister is far far more of an avid reader than I am so she constantly recommends books. So currently some of the books on my tbr are:

Sarah j mass whole collection of series

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Gallant and The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by VE Schwab (highly recommend this author I love love love A Darker Shade of Magic series and one of my all times favorite books is Vicious)

Half a Soul by Olivia Atwater

The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune (I’m halfway through it but haven’t finished it)

A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske

Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica (another book I started but did not finish)

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

A Dowry of Blood by ST Gibson

The Wolf and the Woodsman by Ava Reid

And probably so much more

(One book a I recently finished was NOS4A2 by Joe Hill and I loved it!)